Mind War

Last night, I had a little fight going on inside my head, a mind war, that’s what I called it. Well, that particular mind war was whether I am going to talk to his particular person or not. I’d asked for several signs to happen. I may sound really crazy in this post.

Do you get a moment wherein you’re just dying to have a small conversation with someone but you never seem to do so because you’re afraid they will ignore you? That’s the complete feeling I had, or rather, the thought that was running through mind last night. I was like, if he’s still online after fifteen minutes, I’m going to send a message to him, just one hello.

Then, I ate up all the craziness that was running in my head and took my chance. I did send him a message, I asked him how he’s doing right now. The moment I pressed Enter on my keyboard, I wanted to mentally slap myself. I was thinking, I will never ever have a chat with him again ever if he ignores my message. Yes, all of the negatives were flying everywhere.

So, I anxiously waited for his reply.

There, my worrying was useless. He answered me. The whole time I was smiling, don’t ask me why. I was kind of glad because I did not feel that I disturbed him or something. When I ask him a question about how he is doing in his life, he gives me long answers and that’s good I think. I feel as though he’s not hesitant to talk to me. Well, I don’t really want to give a meaning to his long replies. I’m just happy to really really be able to converse with him.

What I told myself after that, well, I guess I shouldn’t be that paranoid if I want to start a conversation with someone..

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