It was never easy.

Enough for the previous love-talk of mine. Instead, I should really focus on starting my career. Actually, I don’t even know where to start. I have  lots of dilemmas in my mind. I know that I should learn to prioritize.

As much as I want to work in a hospital, I am still having second-thoughts. It’s not because of the stress that I will be facing because I know whatever job I choose to apply for, I will be needing lots of hardwork and that will include me facing stress. Maybe, I can blame my never ending self-doubt.

“Nobody said it was easy.” I remembered the lines of Coldplay’s The Scientist. Yes, this is all for sure. We all want to start something that can change us and our lives but it’s never that easy.

I am a starter and together with that I am very much of a dreamer. I have lots of plans and goals that I want to achieve. That is because I want to prove something to myself and to the people around me. I don’t want to be a loser.

The path that I will be taking is still unclear to me. One thing is definite in my mind though. Everytime someone tells me what to do with my career or does a decision for me, I get really upset and angry. It’s not because I am a narrow-minded person but I’d rather make plans for myself. It’s my life anyway. I did not mean to be rude to those people since I know they’re only concerned but they’ve got to understand that not all things depend on what they want to happen.

Right now, I want  to get hired, so badly, in a work which is medical-related. It just frustrates me because it turns out that applying for a position in hospitals requires a lot of connection with the people inside it. It’s unfair because I don’t have one. Hopefully, I’ll find an exception to this though.

I have lots of alternative plans too, in case I’ll have a hard time with hospitals. I can still go to HMOs or Medical Transcriptionist Companies. I really hope, the opportunities don’t run out.

At this moment, I’m setting my mind to finish all the trainings that are essential for a nurse. Hopefully, I will be able to pass all of those and be hired soon. I just want to get started with my career. I don’t want to stay and sit here and just dream of my dreams.


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