“Never be afraid to fall apart because it is an opportunity to rebuild yourself the way you wish you had been all along.”- Rae Smith
I like how this quote hit something inside of me. I remembered what happened in my training yesterday.
In our training, as a form of evaluation, we had a post-test about the things that we’re discussed. I know that I didn’t study that much but I was still pretty confident that I’ll be able to get a high score.
As the announcements were made, I was included in the list of people who didn’t pass the test. I was so frustrated with myself and I felt so incompetent. The “what-ifs” crossed my mind. I was being very hard on myself at that moment.
Luckily, the instructors gave us another chance. I was still worried that I wouldn’t be able to pass the another exam that they had prepared for us. I don’t want to feel so low but I’ve got to give the bestest that I can give.
After that, the exams were re-checked and I passed. Someone from our group (the ones who didn’t pass) the post-test told us that we will be given special attention because we failed during our first take. I have to admit that it had hurt my self-esteem. I told myself that I wouldn’t let that affect me.
During the return demonstration of our skills for the training, I was able to feel that I should recover from my past failure. I want to prove something to myself. I want to prove that I can be better if I wanted to. I can take over things.
Our training was actually a simulation on how to save someone on cardiac arrest, those medical stuff. Each in our team got the chance to be a team captain.
When it was my turn, I just kept in mind that I have to trust myself. And I did. I was able to execute the procedures I was expected to perform. I and my team passed.
I was so pleased in the end. I appreciated what happened, what I have to go through. It was a good way to make me stronger and better.