Why I do shut up when I feel like doing so

There is an occurrence of this situation yesterday that happened to me wherein all the people who surrounded me were talking about a particular topic. Unfortunately, that topic is something that I can’t really say much about.

I would never escape a day without feeling awkward about something. But I guess that’s just normal. What happened to me yesterday, was kind of awkward considering that I just existed there with them animatedly talking about the said topic and I was just like smiling and nodding on cue.

That’s just the way I am. When I don’t feel like talking, I just listen. I think it would be better for me if I acted that way. At least, I didn’t have to pretend that I have to act animatedly, looking excited about what they’re talking about.

I don’t want to seem as if I am totally disrespectful either. I hope they don’t think of me that way. I think they’re aware that their topic was something that I am uncomfortable of being a part of.

Sometimes, I  chastise myself for not being a very well-spoken person. I have my shy and awkward moments. I am working on it but there are still qualities of mine that I would not like to be changed. I am stubborn, I know.

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