I’ve been getting a lot of comments from the people around me that I’ve been gaining weight, that I look like this, blah blah blah. I know that this shouldn’t be a problem that I spend time thinking about. But I guess I just couldn’t avoid putting a thought about it.

Why do people need to look a certain way for them to be respected, to be loved, to be appreciated? It’s hard to accept that our society has its own definition of beautiful, of how a person should look for him/her to be respected or appreciated.

I’ve never been the usual type of girl who complains a lot about getting fat. I already accepted the fact a long time ago that I am like this. I do complain some time and I’ve made efforts before to lose weight. But, then, my ever present laziness is controlling me, so I don’t exercise that often anymore. Plus, I tend to eat my feelings or stress out, so there you go.

I just really hate it when people tell me that I get fat. I’m not in denial for not wanting to hear people from telling me that. It’s just that it affects my self-esteem. It makes me think less of myself. And they tell me that like it’s biggest joke ever with matching stupid grin on their faces.

And you know what, I realized that I didn’t have to care about what they say. I shouldn’t let them affect me that much. Fuck them for all I care. I will feel beautiful because I deserve to feel like it.

Take note, just because I think not to care about what they think, doesn’t mean I’ll make an effort to be better. I want to try to lose weight for myself, not for them. I hope this post of mine will motivate me. I always put off dieting since I am too lazy as I mentioned. Hopefully, I’ll start doing it, afterall I’m afraid for my health. I’ve had young patients who get hospitalized due to Stroke or heart disease.

If I’m able to wrap my head around this plan of mine, I might as well start a blog about it. I don’t know yet. I hope I’ll stick to my plan.

Again, I do still hate it when people do that to me. Fudge..if they only knew the thoughts running through my mind when they that to my face..but nevermind..I said I was trying to be positive and all. So, I better do my best. I just have to vent out my feelings. That’s all!


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