End of another chapter

It’s been a good four month-training at the hospital. It definitely taught me a lot of things I would have never learned from school. I’ve got the first taste of what it is like to become a professional nurse, someone who practices her chosen field.

First of all, I am very aware that I wouldn’t have made it if it weren’t for some people who helped me. I know that this looks like a speech but it’s not. It’s like, I don’t know, maybe fate has intervened to make me start my nursing career. I would have never thought that I would become one of the lucky ones who got a chance to practice nursing so suddenly after passing the board exam.

I somehow felt proud of myself. In my four months training, I encountered different types of patients, with different diagnosis, with different personalities, with different demands, with different significant others, etc. It felt good to become a part of someone’s life in such a short span of time. I know that I may have not done that much but when I see my patients smile or relieved from their pain, I feel good. I feel as if I’ve made the right decision of pursuing this career. The thanks that I have received, that made me feel fulfilled.

On the other hand, I felt worried about my general performance. I admit that skills-wise, I am not the one who definitely excels at it. I tend to make a lot of mistakes and I chastise myself for every single one of them. With every mistake I commit, I felt as though I was being judged, worse, I was being laughed at and judged by everyone who saw my mistake. I know that it is a pretty harsh thing to do to myself, but I cannot help it. I feel like I way more inferior to others. It’s not so easy to cope with those kinds of feelings. I wish I would get over it soon and gain confidence.

However, I think, the best part that happened in my training was meeting new friends to whom I created a bond with. It’s always good to make new acquaintances. I shared lots of memories with them and felt like I was really welcomed by the group.

All in all, my final thought: I am hoping that there’ll be a positive output from my four-months training. I hope that I can be hired in one of the company hospitals that I am eyeing. I want to stay positive and hopefully throw my worries away.

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