I am terribly missing my grandmother right now. On this day, she and my grandpa are reunited again. She wouldn’t need to feel pain anymore. She’s there in that beautiful place where she deserves to be at, for the beautiful soul that she has.
From the moment that I came to this world, she was one of the first people who got to hold me and cuddle me. When I was this little girl, I went to her for some stories of her childhood. I still remember the times that my cousins and I spend our time together playing at the front of my grandparents house. Those were such good memories. As I grew and became a lady, she was there, witnessing me grow and achieve things.
Aside from my mom, she’s one of the most-worried and most-concerned people when I get sick. She was there every moment. I know she’s happy with what I achieved and who I turned out to be.
This beautiful person, my grandma (I call her, “Nanang”), is now gone. Like what all people have been saying, most of us don’t fully appreciate a person, not until they’re gone. I do appreciate her, but now, I am missing her so much. All the little things she does: how she calls me, “Ne” (her term of endearment for her granddaughters), how she kisses my cheek and hugs me, how I had those long conversations with her, how I feel her concern for me, how she lets people know she cares for them, how she got so much passion for helping people, and the list could go on.
I would have done more for her. I would have cared for her when she was at the ICU, but I didn’t pushed myself to find a way. I was just there, I believed at that time that she will wake up again and talk to me again. From the moment I saw her there lying and comatose, I felt my heart crush. I know that she’s been through a lot and she’s fought hard to stay with us. As I was talking to her, I just knew in my heart, that somehow she’s listening to the words we were telling her. I failed to tell her I love her. I was fixated on my idea that I will still have the chance to do that. That chance was robbed off me when she passed away. I feel so much regret about that. But I hope she does know that I love her so so so much. I love how she’s been there for me all through my life. I will never forget her kindness, her love, and her passion.
As I typing this now, I know in my heart that she’s reunited with my grandpa. Finally, after so many years, they’re together again, at heaven, where there is no suffering and no pain.
My dear grandma, my beloved Nanang, I will never forget you. You will always be in my heart. I will always cherish all those memories I shared with you. I will always picture you as my smiling grandma who’s got so much love for her family.
May you rest in peace.
I love you Nanang, my dearest grandma.