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2013 Wrap up

It’s another year that has finished. Like they say, “Time flies by”. We are again in the point when we reminisce and reflect about the year that has passed.

To be honest, I must say that this year is a roller coaster ride though most of it was on plateau. It’s not like the negative kind of plateau but rather boring. I stayed in my comfort zone and did not do anything to be out of it. The plateau would refer to me choosing the easier way in which I don’t have to make an effort.¬†Actually, I don’t regret anything that I have decided.¬†In fact, I am really happy to have made those decisions. I’ve learned my lessons.

2013 is not an easy year though it’s mostly spent in plateau. In the beginning of the year, I get to practice my career as a nurse. It was such a happy moment for me. I got to learn and do what I was taught in nursing school. I realized that it’s indeed a noble profession to be in. Compassion and dedication are needed to pursue it. I’ve come across different people.. and faced with unexpected experiences. One of which was seeing a patient deteriorating and dying before my eyes. I felt like I had to detach from that moment..to prevent from crying because I need to be strong. It was a bit similar to the movies. In the mid-April, I finished my nursing training. I was successful and yet I felt like I shouldn’t take the opportunity of working in the hospital setting.

Since then, my father and I had some sort of disagreement with regards to my career, a definite down in my roller coaster ride. He said that I should have pursued it. I said I would not be happy working there. In the end, I stood by my decision. I followed my heart. It was a rough decision between practicality and happiness. Until now, I don’t know what to make out of it. Probably, I just chickened out because I was scared of failure. Or probably, there is something behind the turn of events that somehow makes it right.

By June, my grandmother passed away. She was really an angel in my life. She has always stood by my side, my defender in many ways. Like I said before, I’m just happy that my she and my grandfather are now together in heaven, a bit relieved that she didn’t need to feel pain anymore.

In September, I got freelance writing jobs. That’s when I thought that maybe I am meant to be a writer. I’m happy to have discovered this side of me. I have always loved writing because of my love for reading. Anyway, even if I am enjoying the perks of the job, I still miss dealing with patients and helping them. I miss nursing..but I guess it’s really true that you don’t know what you’re missing until it’s gone. I let the opportunity pass and here I am feeling slightly sorry about it but not so sorry about it (lol seriously I have a bad case of ambivalence).

Right now, what can I say..Yes I am thankful for everything that has happened. I’m still figuring this out but eventually things will unfold for me. I’ve pointed out before that I have always believed that all things happen for a reason.

Like I said, my year has been on a plateau but still a roller coaster ride. I remembered a character in John Green’s novel, “The Fault in Our Stars”. It’s Augustus Waters and he said there that he is on a roller coaster that only goes up. I want my life to be like that. A roller coaster that only goes up. A life that is so colorful because I learned to take calculated risks and be brave. That’s what I am going to do in 2014. Take risks, believe in what I can do.. and where fate takes me.

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Daily Prompt: All you ever are is mean

What is your least favorite personal quality in others? Extra points for sharing your least favorite personal quality in yourself.

In writing this post, I’m not saying that I don’t have this quality that is my least favorite in others. I think that would be when someone doesn’t care enough to listen. Nothing sucks even more than that for me. It’s like the least thing that he/she can do is pretend to listen or try to understand what I am talking about. It really pisses me off when I try to explain or share something. I just don’t talk my thoughts or feelings to anyone. When I do that, I expect a person to listen though I shouldn’t have expected in the first place. This is actually about respect and every person deserves it. That’s the way I think of it.

Like I said earlier, I am not denying that I don’t do what I mentioned earlier. There are times that I just don’t care enough to listen because when that happens it means that I think the stuff that a person is talking about sounds non-sense to me. It’s like the words come through my left ear and just leave the right one. Then, I will point out about my opinion on that matter just to contradict the one who’s talking to me. I try as much as possible to stop doing it because yes it is very disrespectful.

When it comes to myself, the least favorite personality of mine is really over-thinking. This has been my problem ever since. I try to conquer it as much as possible..but there are times I just fail. So, that over-thinking leads to ambivalence or indecisiveness. It also makes me bitter sometimes about the things I should have done but I did not because I became afraid. That’s the personal quality that I hate most about myself.