It’s another year that has finished. Like they say, “Time flies by”. We are again in the point when we reminisce and reflect about the year that has passed.
To be honest, I must say that this year is a roller coaster ride though most of it was on plateau. It’s not like the negative kind of plateau but rather boring. I stayed in my comfort zone and did not do anything to be out of it. The plateau would refer to me choosing the easier way in which I don’t have to make an effort. Actually, I don’t regret anything that I have decided. In fact, I am really happy to have made those decisions. I’ve learned my lessons.
2013 is not an easy year though it’s mostly spent in plateau. In the beginning of the year, I get to practice my career as a nurse. It was such a happy moment for me. I got to learn and do what I was taught in nursing school. I realized that it’s indeed a noble profession to be in. Compassion and dedication are needed to pursue it. I’ve come across different people.. and faced with unexpected experiences. One of which was seeing a patient deteriorating and dying before my eyes. I felt like I had to detach from that moment..to prevent from crying because I need to be strong. It was a bit similar to the movies. In the mid-April, I finished my nursing training. I was successful and yet I felt like I shouldn’t take the opportunity of working in the hospital setting.
Since then, my father and I had some sort of disagreement with regards to my career, a definite down in my roller coaster ride. He said that I should have pursued it. I said I would not be happy working there. In the end, I stood by my decision. I followed my heart. It was a rough decision between practicality and happiness. Until now, I don’t know what to make out of it. Probably, I just chickened out because I was scared of failure. Or probably, there is something behind the turn of events that somehow makes it right.
By June, my grandmother passed away. She was really an angel in my life. She has always stood by my side, my defender in many ways. Like I said before, I’m just happy that my she and my grandfather are now together in heaven, a bit relieved that she didn’t need to feel pain anymore.
In September, I got freelance writing jobs. That’s when I thought that maybe I am meant to be a writer. I’m happy to have discovered this side of me. I have always loved writing because of my love for reading. Anyway, even if I am enjoying the perks of the job, I still miss dealing with patients and helping them. I miss nursing..but I guess it’s really true that you don’t know what you’re missing until it’s gone. I let the opportunity pass and here I am feeling slightly sorry about it but not so sorry about it (lol seriously I have a bad case of ambivalence).
Right now, what can I say..Yes I am thankful for everything that has happened. I’m still figuring this out but eventually things will unfold for me. I’ve pointed out before that I have always believed that all things happen for a reason.
Like I said, my year has been on a plateau but still a roller coaster ride. I remembered a character in John Green’s novel, “The Fault in Our Stars”. It’s Augustus Waters and he said there that he is on a roller coaster that only goes up. I want my life to be like that. A roller coaster that only goes up. A life that is so colorful because I learned to take calculated risks and be brave. That’s what I am going to do in 2014. Take risks, believe in what I can do.. and where fate takes me.