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What I didn’t regret

You know those moments you think of all the things you did in the past and play it over and over inside your head?

That’s actually a very common scenario to me every night when I get to my bed and reflect on my life. I realized that there’s nothing much that I regret in my life. After all, it’s what I wanted. It was my decision to do that. So, it’s pretty useless for me to regret on stuff. Instead of focusing on regrets, I think I should focus on things I didn’t regret.

I remembered that moment I turned my back on nursing. It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve made in my life. I thought that I was such a coward from not taking that opportunity but I guess it’s good that I did it. Why? Because I realized I’m not yet ready. I know that the world won’t wait for me to get ready but in a job like nurses do..It’s really scary because the patients’ lives are in my hands and I can’t afford to make big mistakes. Yes I was scared and I know that it’s normal. I didn’t choose to face my fear though instead I ran away. Up to this day, I am still thankful though, that I did that. It opened up other opportunities and experiences for me.

Since quitting temporarily from my profession, I decided to pursue my love for writing. I enjoyed my job as a freelance article writer. It worked on me. I was able to do writing for living for 2 years already. I think it brought me lots of lessons. I was actually proud of myself because I was got one of my dream jobs.

For now, I think I am in the crossroads of my life. I don’t know if I should pursue my career but I miss working in the hospital and it’s so hard to get a working experience here in my country. Is it normal that I don’t know what I want to do with my life? I feel like going crazy sometimes. I need some time to find myself (lol).

My point here is that I do not think of my past mistakes as  regrets but rather lessons. I always believe that there are reasons behind the things that happen to our lives. Though the reasons may not still be clear for me, I believe that by that I will be guided on what I should do with my life.

Hopefully, I’ll figure out what I’ll do with my life. It’s totally confusing. 😛

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So Yesterday

My first post for 2014 is here. Yes, I am sticking to my New Year’s Resolution of blogging everyday (though I know it’s totally useless to have resolutions). Anyway, I am going to push this as much as I can.

Today, I feel like talking about letting go of the past and regrets. It’s so yesterday, just like I always tell myself. There are times in which I remember events that make me cringe internally, wishing that I never did such things, and making me feel embarrassed about why I did those stuff.

What does it really take to move on?

I guess I don’t have the exact formula for that. The closest thing that I could come up with to do that is ACCEPTANCE. Like most people say, letting go and accepting things will help you move on. I think that is true. It works for me. Though there may be those moments when I am reminded of the things I regret, I am trying and trying my best to accept what I did because well it’s over. It’s so yesterday. I can’t do anything to change it anymore. Instead, I should see it as a lesson and never let myself do it anyway.

We are not perfect. We make me mistakes. Nobody does not. I think people should remember this instead of trying to be so perfect. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. Most importantly, love yourself because you were so strong to overcome what you just went through.

Again, Happy New Year Everyone!

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Things that I am thankful for this year

Again, I’m back after a long period of being MIA. Anyway, I’d like to greet everyone Happy Thanksgiving!  In essence of this occasion (even though we don’t celebrate it in our country), I’d like to talk about the things that I am very very much thankful for this year.

To start with, I think that I’m really blessed because I have my family and friends who is always here with me. If it weren’t for them, I think I’d be nothing. I’m thankful because we’re all safe and healthy. After the calamities that occurred in the other parts of our country, I realized that I should be grateful for the life and the comfort of all the things we have in life.

Another thing to be thankful for is having a regular job and part-time jobs. I must admit that life in twenties is way more complicated than I ever thought it would be. Before, I’m very dependent to the allowance that my parents gave to me. I spend it without a second thought. Now that I am earning my own money, I always get guilt feelings. Anyway, I’m happy that now, I’m giving a little share to my parents for our family budget.

Lastly, the experiences and the lessons I’ve had are the highlights. Now, I think that I am indeed learning about the “adult-life”. I’ve had my own share of mistakes that I think of now as a way of redirecting me to where I should really be. I’ve learned to stand for myself and not let anybody dictate what I should do. That’s most important lesson that I’ve learned and thankful for this year.

 

I guess that would be all for now. Enjoy your day everyone. 🙂

 

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What I learned today

I had a long and exhausting day today. I was actually worried about facing this day because of the over-thinker that I am. When I start thinking about things, I worry a lot, which is still a problem of mine that I’m trying to solve.

Anyway, as I got along with my day, I’ve met some people who really inspired me. They are such nice people and they even taught me about the tasks that I should accomplish today. As the time passed, I realized that I admire them. I admire them for their dedication to their work. I remember my conversation with one of them. She said that even though she has loads of work to do every day, even if she does not get to sit even for a moment, even if she doesn’t eat on time, even if she has to work from morning to evening taking care of different people , she loves her job. She enjoys it.

How I wish when I get my job as a nurse, I would become like her. I want to be someone who is so competent and so compassionate with my work. I want to be someone who loves and enjoys her job. I want to be successful not because I get loads of money from my job but  because I love my job. That’s the kind of future I want to see myself in 5 to 10 years from now.