You know those moments you think of all the things you did in the past and play it over and over inside your head?
That’s actually a very common scenario to me every night when I get to my bed and reflect on my life. I realized that there’s nothing much that I regret in my life. After all, it’s what I wanted. It was my decision to do that. So, it’s pretty useless for me to regret on stuff. Instead of focusing on regrets, I think I should focus on things I didn’t regret.
I remembered that moment I turned my back on nursing. It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve made in my life. I thought that I was such a coward from not taking that opportunity but I guess it’s good that I did it. Why? Because I realized I’m not yet ready. I know that the world won’t wait for me to get ready but in a job like nurses do..It’s really scary because the patients’ lives are in my hands and I can’t afford to make big mistakes. Yes I was scared and I know that it’s normal. I didn’t choose to face my fear though instead I ran away. Up to this day, I am still thankful though, that I did that. It opened up other opportunities and experiences for me.
Since quitting temporarily from my profession, I decided to pursue my love for writing. I enjoyed my job as a freelance article writer. It worked on me. I was able to do writing for living for 2 years already. I think it brought me lots of lessons. I was actually proud of myself because I was got one of my dream jobs.
For now, I think I am in the crossroads of my life. I don’t know if I should pursue my career but I miss working in the hospital and it’s so hard to get a working experience here in my country. Is it normal that I don’t know what I want to do with my life? I feel like going crazy sometimes. I need some time to find myself (lol).
My point here is that I do not think of my past mistakes as regrets but rather lessons. I always believe that there are reasons behind the things that happen to our lives. Though the reasons may not still be clear for me, I believe that by that I will be guided on what I should do with my life.
Hopefully, I’ll figure out what I’ll do with my life. It’s totally confusing. 😛