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So much going on at the moment

Hi everyone! I figured that it has been a month since my last post here. The thing is there have been so much going on at the moment. I loved all of it actually. Despite the fact that I am so busy, I feel as though I am so happy to be finally doing a lot of stuff again. I felt that I have been in love with my profession again no matter how difficult it could be.

So, I have been undergoing a hospital training again. Lol. I know. This is already my second time and I am hoping that it will really turn out well. I had my fair share of facepalm worthy moments at my training though. Most of the time I find myself cringing over those moments but I better begin to laugh it off as to not embarrass myself that much. Actually, I’ve been living in a way in which I should just enjoy everything that I have right now. It has been my mindset lately.. to just enjoy what’s happening even if it’s actually stressing me out. In this way, I think I have been able to cope up with the actual stress of the training program.

I am learning a lot. I am thankful that I get another shot to practicing the nursing profession. There are times when anxiety creeps up on me but I do my best to shrug it off. I have to believe that I can make it. I read some novels wherein this saying frequently appears, “Fake til you Make it.” Even though it kinda makes sense, I don’t think you should be faking anything to make it. It should be Work it til you Make it or something instead. It definitely does have more sense. You’ll make it when you work for it. It’s from the hardships that accomplishments and success come from.

Here’s what my realization is at this point in my life:

I am so indecisive and that fact scares the hell out of me. I am not so sure of everything. Call it fear of the unknown. Maybe that’s what I am so scared of. But…what propels me to keep moving on? All I can think of is FAITH. I have faith in my FAITH. I believe that everything’s going to be alright soon. I’m going to find my way to happiness. Call me cheesy or whatever you want but I think that’s how I have been living my life. If I’m not going to have faith in myself and God..maybe I’d be so lost and I’d drown in anxiety and confusion.

Yes. It is hard. But that’s what life is. Life doesn’t go easy on everyone. I’ve never head or known someone who had/has an easy life. No matter what happens, you just need to keep moving. You can be afraid but don’t let it stop you from getting what you want in life. Fight for it. Don’t be a coward. Don’t let an opportunity pass. Every once in awhile, do something that makes your adrenaline rush out of your system. After all the craziness has been over, you’ll feel accomplished and proud of yourself..that you helped yourself get through it.

 

Oh and I want to thank everyone who still has stuck to following this journal-like blog of mine. You guys take care!

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When nothing happens like the way you planned it

Most of the time, we feel like control is necessary to make ourselves feel like we have everything on track. The most common thing we do to make sure we can control our lives is  planning. I admit that I am one of those who needs to constantly plan about everything in my life. If I don’t have it, I feel as though everything will be in a mess. Though I have a point in that, I am starting to believe that plans aren’t really that much necessary in some circumstances.

Why do I begin to believe that? Well, like we all know there are things in life that don’t happen the way we plan it or imagine it. I think it would be really wonderful to just get lost for a moment, try to figure out things, and go with the flow. That’s what we live for right? To find why we are here and what will make us happy. I guess that’s it. When things go wrong, there will come a time that things will go right. Gosh. Sometimes I don’t even really know what I am talking about. I could just hope and hope and hope because I know eventually things will go right. I will find my happiness and purpose.

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A New Year for Adventures and Lessons

My 22nd birthday just passed. I came to realize many things about my life. There are not much but still these are pretty important for me. A year older than I was, I am still the same old me. I think I’ve been living on the “SAFE” side of my life for too long. Having just read a blog post about doing something new, I think I would want to do something that will make me feel proud of myself, of my decisions.

So, for this year, I guess I have to push myself to be braver. By that, I mean to let go of all the things that are holding me back. I have always been a worrier. That did nothing to make my life better. It held me back from the opportunities that I should I have taken. I have no regrets though. What makes feel good about myself right now is that I was able to stand by what I believe will make me happy in the long run. I can’t even blame myself or any other people for what is happening to my life. I guess I have to accept the reality. The good thing about acknowledging reality is that it helped me determine where I stand. Somehow, this provides comfort because I am still living a pretty much blessed life.

A new year for adventures and lessons:

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”- Mark Twain

I just love how this quote by Mark Twain reminded me on how life should be lived.  One part of me tells me to be safe and cautious in everything. However, that will be so boring for me. So, as a change, I will strive to be braver to try out new things and never hold back as long as I am doing the right thing. I don’t want to grow old and feel unfulfilled after all.

Day by day, I will live my life to the fullest as much as I can. I will not allow myself to be stagnant. There’s no way it will happen. I know I am destined for something that will make me happy and I deserve it.

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Faith

Have faith that good things will happen. Don’t stop believing. It will be better if you didn’t lose the things that you’ve been holding on to. Keep going. Don’t give up just because you’ve made mistakes.

Appreciate yourself once in a while or if you’d like most of the time. But don’t go overboard. Have faith in yourself. You’ll never know if anybody’s going to have their faith on you. So love yourself and never doubt yourself as much as you can manage to do so.

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I Won’t Give Up

Dear my-ever-doubting-self,

Everything’s going fine, isn’t it? You’ve made it this far. You’ve worked hard to get to this point. You may have those persistent and annoying self-doubt thoughts in your head and yes, you are strong enough to put them in rest sometimes. It is hard. You struggle, you have so much things going on. You try to balance things in your head.

You berate yourself for making mistakes. Stop doing that. It is good to make mistakes. Nothing is wrong with it. I know feel bad because you think that you look like a fool in the eyes of others or they belittle you for your mistakes. Learn to learn from it. There’s no other way around it than to accept it and try to be better, not bitter.

You are strong. Keep that in mind. Don’t let anybody step on you. Fight if you have to. But be silent when it is right to do so.

Respect yourself. It’s the only way that others are going to respect you too.

Make friends. Laugh with them. Learn from them. Don’t let them drift away. Hold on to them.

Another note, don’t give u, okay? You’ll make it. Whatever it is you want to achieve, you”ll eventually have it as long as you work your ass off.

Smile. Try your hardest. Better your best. Don’t stop. You can do it.

Love,

Your optimistic-and-loving-self

 

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What would I DO?

what

There’ll be an endless list of the things that I will do if I knew that I couldn’t fail. Only IF. A lot of things would be so much different. I would have been braver and more positive in life.

But would I still attempt if I knew I wouldn’t fail? Probably and probably not.  I may have tried doing something at the very first thought that comes to my mind. I would have rushed doing things. I would have accomplished plenty of things.

If I knew I wouldn’t fail, I would be the first one to volunteer in doing something. I would be the one to show everybody that they didn’t have to be afraid of trying because like me, I didn’t fail. So, chances are if I can do it, they  can too.

On the other hand, if I knew I wouldn’t fail, I wouldn’t have worked that hard for something that I’ve wanted so much.For example, I would have taken exams less seriously. If I already knew that I will pass, I wouldn’t have studied for it.

There are so many possibilities when I start thinking about the things I would attempt to do if I knew I would not fail. But, actually, I still think that it’s better not knowing whether I can succeed or fail. There would be no excitement, no hard work, no surprise. I mean everything will just be plain.

All in all, it’s good at some point to have the thinking that I cannot fail. But I suppose, I strive harder if I knew that there will be two possibilities: Succeeding and Failing. While Failing seems to be hard to accept, there’s a sense of beauty to it. I always think that it’s much better to fail at some point. I get to realize my mistakes and hold on to it in a way that I will make sure I’ll do it correctly the next time. Also, failing makes me feel to put value on things, especially to those that I put a lot of effort on, but still fail on doing. Either way, the main point is to keep on trying. If I get something on one shot, then that’s good. But if I fail, I make sure to try and try until I succeed.

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Beginnings

Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident, and more and more successful.
Mark Victor Hansen 

There is no need to wait for a cue when it comes to starting new things in my life. I need to stop procrastination and doubting.  The key point is for me to face things with head held up high.

It will always be difficult. I will not get what I want that fast even if I wanted to. I have to overcome each challenge that will come my way. I may smile with my success and cry with my failures. But, one thing is for sure, beginnings are always the hardest. I need to be at my lowest point in order for me to struggle and rise from it.

I may feel afraid of things, but I’ll never know what it’s like if I didn’t try. There will be times of hesitations, and each time I do it, I regret and think about what it might have been like.

I know that practice makes it perfect. So, I would practice to make myself effective and competent. I am exerting efforts and I know that it would be appreciated one way or another.

I am hoping for the best. I’m too blessed to be stressed. 😀

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Striving to be better than my best

“I don’t believe you have to be better than everybody else. I believe you have to be better than you ever thought you could be.”

As I was browsing random posts on facebook, I found this inspirational quote posted by a friend of mine. And I do think that she’s right.

I’ve always pushed myself hard not to think about having other people as my competitors. I’ve said in the past that I do think that “the greatest enemy that any person could have is you yourself”. It’s more of a fight of  thoughts, whether I allow myself to feel positive all the time or be swallowed by all negativity.

I also think that instead of wasting my time to feel insecure of other people’s success, I’ll start working on improving myself. After all, I do get selfish most of the time. By selfish, I mean, I care a LOT about myself. Maybe I could use that in spending my energy on building a better me.

I remember my dean in college, talking about reaching goals. She said, “Always better your best.” I should follow her advice though. I don’t know if I’m already doing my best right at this moment, but I’m definitely sure that I am giving LOTS of effort to get what I want to achieve. But if doing LOTS of effort means doing my best, then I believe I have to top that.

Again, that’s my problem, how to stand out among many excellent people. But that brings me back to the thought of not thinking of being better than the others. Therefore, I have to be better than the person I ever thought I could be.