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When nothing happens like the way you planned it

Most of the time, we feel like control is necessary to make ourselves feel like we have everything on track. The most common thing we do to make sure we can control our lives is  planning. I admit that I am one of those who needs to constantly plan about everything in my life. If I don’t have it, I feel as though everything will be in a mess. Though I have a point in that, I am starting to believe that plans aren’t really that much necessary in some circumstances.

Why do I begin to believe that? Well, like we all know there are things in life that don’t happen the way we plan it or imagine it. I think it would be really wonderful to just get lost for a moment, try to figure out things, and go with the flow. That’s what we live for right? To find why we are here and what will make us happy. I guess that’s it. When things go wrong, there will come a time that things will go right. Gosh. Sometimes I don’t even really know what I am talking about. I could just hope and hope and hope because I know eventually things will go right. I will find my happiness and purpose.

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Day 11, 12: Inhale positivity. Exhale negativity.

The assignments for the Days 11 and 12 for the Zero To Hero: 30 Days to a Better Blog Challenge are based on the comments that we left on blogs. I felt like I should focus my post on what I have read on the Two-Minute Tune Up. Her post is about disposing of pain.

As someone who is trying to make myself the better version of me, I find her post really really helpful. I am one of the many who have difficulty in letting go of the negative thoughts that plague my mind. So, when I saw what she wrote about the steps on how to dispose pain. I felt like I should do it and reflect on it.

Step One: List past conflicts, disappointments, lies, stupid stuff, and tragedies that cause pain

There are lots actually but the main stuff that cause me pain and dis-ease are the opportunities that I missed, the moments I felt too scared to try, the insecurities, the never-ending indecisiveness, general worry for the future, me being feeling like an unaccomplished person.

Step Two: Give thanks to them. We’re all human.

She has such a huge point here. If it weren’t for these disappointments, failures, insecurities, and other stuff I wouldn’t have learned lessons. If I didn’t see the positive side of it, I wouldn’t become and strive to be a better person.

Step Three: Fix or apologize what you can.

I admit this will be the hardest step. On this, I think it will be a process that will take a long time but hopefully, I’ll get to accomplish. I will start by being more positive and eliminating negative thoughts. I will try to achieve things one at a time and go easy on myself.

Step Four: Let go of the rest. You’re human.

Actually, I think this is the most important step. Moving on starts when you let go. *cue the Let It Go song from Frozen* 🙂 It’s like if you can’t do anything about what happened, let it go. There is no going back to change it anymore.

Step Five: Live in peace. Imperfection is who we are.

This is one of my goals, having peace of mind and being contented. I hope soon I can get to step five of disposing pain. After all, I need it every once in a while when it gets too much to bear inside.

 

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Things that I am thankful for this year

Again, I’m back after a long period of being MIA. Anyway, I’d like to greet everyone Happy Thanksgiving!  In essence of this occasion (even though we don’t celebrate it in our country), I’d like to talk about the things that I am very very much thankful for this year.

To start with, I think that I’m really blessed because I have my family and friends who is always here with me. If it weren’t for them, I think I’d be nothing. I’m thankful because we’re all safe and healthy. After the calamities that occurred in the other parts of our country, I realized that I should be grateful for the life and the comfort of all the things we have in life.

Another thing to be thankful for is having a regular job and part-time jobs. I must admit that life in twenties is way more complicated than I ever thought it would be. Before, I’m very dependent to the allowance that my parents gave to me. I spend it without a second thought. Now that I am earning my own money, I always get guilt feelings. Anyway, I’m happy that now, I’m giving a little share to my parents for our family budget.

Lastly, the experiences and the lessons I’ve had are the highlights. Now, I think that I am indeed learning about the “adult-life”. I’ve had my own share of mistakes that I think of now as a way of redirecting me to where I should really be. I’ve learned to stand for myself and not let anybody dictate what I should do. That’s most important lesson that I’ve learned and thankful for this year.

 

I guess that would be all for now. Enjoy your day everyone. 🙂

 

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Note to Self #2: Fall in love with yourself

Fall in love with yourself

You have been through a lot. There may be times when you think that you’re not enough (not pretty enough, not smart enough not funny enough, not talented enough, not capable enough). Whatever it is, stop thinking that you are not enough because you are actually good enough. It may not make that much sense but forget all the frustrations. Learn to love yourself. Tell yourself that you are fine with what you have. The only thing that is lacking is accepting your strengths and weaknesses. You would not be you today if you don’t have those. Don’t even compare yourself with others. There are actually people who love you for who you are. If they fell in love with who you are, then, you certainly can as well.

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What should be my mindset now?

Someone told me in the past that everyone around me is my competition. This is what I’m currently thinking about. I am in a training where it is like the survival of the fittest, survival of those who are skilled/equipped enough.

Yes, there is a small part of me that agrees with that statement that everyone around me is my competition.

I don’t want to fully believe it though. On the contrary, I want to believe that it is not the others who are my competition, but rather, it is me, myself, and I who is my competition.

Everyday, I fight with the negativity of my thoughts. I fight with the disappointments that come with my mistakes. And yes, everyday, I tell myself to let it go and be wiser next time. To put it off lightly, I even laugh at my mistakes. I am not perfect after all.

I know I should be worried but I prefer to just go easy on myself because I feel better that way. I feel better because I know that I am trying my very best to show that I am capable and ready. I enjoy making new friends, learning new things, caring for my patients, and living life to the fullest.

I don’t want to turn into this selfish person who would only want success in life. I want to be someone who is successful not because of what I achieved, but rather because I am happy with what I am doing with my life. I want to make everyone happy too. It is just because that is how I am, I can’t help but want to please everyone.

I guess I am fine with my life as for now. I am in a constant journey, not knowing what tomorrow will bring. There will always be the surprises that will definitely knock me off the trail that I am travelling on. But one thing is for sure, I will go on, move on. After all, I am pretty sure I am stronger than I was before. Bring it on!