11

Daily Prompt: All you ever are is mean

What is your least favorite personal quality in others? Extra points for sharing your least favorite personal quality in yourself.

In writing this post, I’m not saying that I don’t have this quality that is my least favorite in others. I think that would be when someone doesn’t care enough to listen. Nothing sucks even more than that for me. It’s like the least thing that he/she can do is pretend to listen or try to understand what I am talking about. It really pisses me off when I try to explain or share something. I just don’t talk my thoughts or feelings to anyone. When I do that, I expect a person to listen though I shouldn’t have expected in the first place. This is actually about respect and every person deserves it. That’s the way I think of it.

Like I said earlier, I am not denying that I don’t do what I mentioned earlier. There are times that I just don’t care enough to listen because when that happens it means that I think the stuff that a person is talking about sounds non-sense to me. It’s like the words come through my left ear and just leave the right one. Then, I will point out about my opinion on that matter just to contradict the one who’s talking to me. I try as much as possible to stop doing it because yes it is very disrespectful.

When it comes to myself, the least favorite personality of mine is really over-thinking. This has been my problem ever since. I try to conquer it as much as possible..but there are times I just fail. So, that over-thinking leads to ambivalence or indecisiveness. It also makes me bitter sometimes about the things I should have done but I did not because I became afraid. That’s the personal quality that I hate most about myself.

Advertisements
0

Self-love…R-e-s-p-e-c-t

I’ve been getting a lot of comments from the people around me that I’ve been gaining weight, that I look like this, blah blah blah. I know that this shouldn’t be a problem that I spend time thinking about. But I guess I just couldn’t avoid putting a thought about it.

Why do people need to look a certain way for them to be respected, to be loved, to be appreciated? It’s hard to accept that our society has its own definition of beautiful, of how a person should look for him/her to be respected or appreciated.

I’ve never been the usual type of girl who complains a lot about getting fat. I already accepted the fact a long time ago that I am like this. I do complain some time and I’ve made efforts before to lose weight. But, then, my ever present laziness is controlling me, so I don’t exercise that often anymore. Plus, I tend to eat my feelings or stress out, so there you go.

I just really hate it when people tell me that I get fat. I’m not in denial for not wanting to hear people from telling me that. It’s just that it affects my self-esteem. It makes me think less of myself. And they tell me that like it’s biggest joke ever with matching stupid grin on their faces.

And you know what, I realized that I didn’t have to care about what they say. I shouldn’t let them affect me that much. Fuck them for all I care. I will feel beautiful because I deserve to feel like it.

Take note, just because I think not to care about what they think, doesn’t mean I’ll make an effort to be better. I want to try to lose weight for myself, not for them. I hope this post of mine will motivate me. I always put off dieting since I am too lazy as I mentioned. Hopefully, I’ll start doing it, afterall I’m afraid for my health. I’ve had young patients who get hospitalized due to Stroke or heart disease.

If I’m able to wrap my head around this plan of mine, I might as well start a blog about it. I don’t know yet. I hope I’ll stick to my plan.

Again, I do still hate it when people do that to me. Fudge..if they only knew the thoughts running through my mind when they that to my face..but nevermind..I said I was trying to be positive and all. So, I better do my best. I just have to vent out my feelings. That’s all!