Monthly Archives: November 2012

2

What happened to my 2012?

|

November 30, 2012. Tomorrow, it will be the last month of this year. WTH happened to my 2012? I can remember myself, last year, listing in my head all the New Year’s resolutions that I should accomplish even though I knew there’ll be no point in doing so.  I can recall having the New Year’s eve with my family. We were having fun at that time. My brothers and I sang the song “2012” that night. We were like: “2-0-1-2… Ohhhh…We’re gonna party like, like it’s the end of the world.” Except that I don’t really believe that the world is going to end this year.

Anyhoo, what happened to my 2012? It was the last year of my college student years. I freaking wanted my studies to finish way back then. Now, I’m just moping around, wishing I could go back to college, study, have my duty at the hospitals, go out with my friends, and most specially I missed receiving my allowance from my parents. Life for college students here in my country isn’t like those in the others wherein when you turned 18 or something, you need to move out, find a place of your own, and you need to pay for your own college tuition or work your ass off to get your tuition loans to get paid. It is the other way around here in Philippines. It is the parents’ responsibilities to pay for your tuition and give your allowance. The only responsibility you get is study hard and finish school. Well, this is only true to those who are lucky enough to afford the ever increasing tuition fees.

I had the remaining months of my college life spent finishing all the requirements I needed to graduate. I had the busiest days way back then when I had so little time for sleep just to make sure I’ll make it to the candidates for the graduation list. Then, we had those days entirely dedicated to reviewing for our board exams, reading notes, and answering loads of practice tests. We had our graduation ceremonies. Those days went by so fast.

I also had the most gut-twisting 2 days of my life this year, which was my Nursing Board examination. I remember  that day so well except for the questions that have been asked and the answers that I chose. Then, this year, I made it through that exam and survived. Now, I am a registered nurse and I’m really proud that I managed to achieve that.

After the results of the exam were released in August, I was now set to the “world of the unemployed”. As much as I would love to earn money, well, I’m a little bit in need of luck, so I am still jobless and broke. I didn’t know that time would fly so fast when I am stuck at home doing nothing but think about the career path I must take. I am 3 months unemployed. That is what makes me frustrated most of the days. But I still believe that there is a reason behind all of these things happening to me as I always say. But I still hope to get hired by the end of this year.

I still have 1 more month this year. Hopefully, great things are going to happen!

0

On the brighter side

|

In order for me to move on with my job application- frustrations, I need to look at the brighter side. So I would be mostly having rationalizations with myself to get over it.

Well, it was nice to talk to people who are complete strangers. Actually, I even got lost on my way to the building where I was supposed to have my interview. I asked this one older guy to point out the direction to my destination. It’s really nice of him to walk with me and show me the way since he’s also headed the same way but to a different building though. As we were walking, I got to talk with him about random things. Like for example, what job I was applying for, what course did I took up in college, and many more. He also talked a little about himself and his family.It was just great to know that there are still nice and helpful people out there.

Then, at the actual job interview, I got to make some new friends and talked with them too about our lives and anything under the sun as we waited for our turns to be called by the HR staff.

By the end of the day, if I am going to look at this positively, everything that happens, definitely has a purpose and God has a reason for that. I guess I’ll just wait, be patient, and keep on trying. God has the right timing, right place, and right reason for everything that will happen. And I’m sure God has definitely the most awesome plans for me.

2

I’m still jobhunting and it gets me so frustrated.

|

After 2 consecutive days of being interviewed in a certain company I’ve applied for, I just feel exhausted and frustrated.

This is why it sucks to be a fresh graduate. I don’t have any job experience yet and then these employers look for it in order for an applicant to be qualified. Oh right. Aside from that, I don’t know if I should keep track of the “almost-got-hired-but-somehow-i-messed-up” applications.

I am getting so frustrated. Like, I am pretty sure I did my best in my last interview and what do I get? It’s the typical, “We will just call you in _ days. But if you haven’t received a call from us, you may move on with your application to other companies.” (But I’m still hoping they’d call though) It  crushes my self-esteem by getting rejected over and over. Not good news for me.

Then, I had all these hospitals lined up where I submitted my resumes and requirements. Getting a call from one of them will surely make my day. I mean, my previous applications were not really for staff nurse positions but they are medical related. But, I’d love it more if I’ll get hired as a staff nurse in a hospital. That would be far better because that’s what I studied for. And chances were like pretty slim unless the odds will be totally in my favor. That’s mostly because of the oversupply of nurses here in this country.

Sometimes, I do ask myself, why did I took up nursing? Well, the answer is my parents’ choice. I wouldn’t blame them though, I know that they only want the best for me. Also, I’ve learned to love nursing and I feel that maybe it’s more of my “calling”.

If it’s meant to be, then, I’ll be hired as a staff nurse. I could use extra supplies of patience in waiting for the right job or rather my first job. Whatever comes first, well I will see soon.

Aside
6

Describe your perfect Sunday morning..
Plinky.com

A perfect Sunday morning will be a day started with a bright sky when I look out of my window. It would be a day wherein I wouldn’t have anything to do but enjoy and relax. That will be an entire day of reading a book I always loved or having a chic-flick marathon and eating ice cream or chocolates. Or maybe I could go somewhere, a place I’ve never been to and write my thoughts in my journal.

0

Is it a bad thing if they say, you’ve changed?

|

I’ve recently met with my old friends. It was an overall fun day. We’ve got lots of catching up to do with one another. I guess I missed them considering it’s been so hard to set up a date when we will all be available.

One of my friends asked me though at one point. She asked me, when did I become quiet? She said that I’m not like that in the past and my other friends agreed.

I honestly didn’t know how to answer that question. In the back of my mid I wanted to tell her: “Maybe all people change. It’s not like I’ll be so comfortable telling random stories about my life now as much as I did before. And we were all so busy with our lives.”

It kind of made me feel bad. Being quiet doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad thing right? Being quiet means having to think things before you say them out loud. Or maybe I don’t think my stories will be fun enough for them to listen to.

Time passed and I changed like they did.

6

Fears are silly. Or not.

|

Recently, I have been undergoing a training and it’s the one I’m most nervous of. I don’t know why, but mainly, I think the fear has something to do with failures in the past. I was trying to get a hold on myself at those few days I’ve been there. My mind was always overthinking as it always does and worries about every single thing.

Then, it just came to the point that I’ve had enough of my freaking fears. I need to let go, I told myself. All I needed at that time was confidence and optimism. I chanted good things in my head over and over again. I made myself trust myself, that I can do it, and that I was strong enough to overcome the obstacles I’ve faced in the past. Prayers are a great tool too.

Maybe, it also has something to do with the law of attraction. I kept on replacing negative thoughts with the positive ones. I’ve done my part, I worked with lots of effort and I began to start thinking that if I prepared for something so well, how can I not make it? It makes sense. If I know I was ready and prepared, I sure as hell am going to be successful with it.

In the end, I realized, fears are silly. But maybe, not totally. Fear can be a good thing. It pushes us to be stronger and conquer that little voice in our mind telling us: “you cannot do it.”

0

Dictator of your life

|

Ever felt that you don’t really have a control in the decisions you make for your life?

Most of us, I think, goes through this experience where we think that we are losing control of our lives and that we need people to help us with it.

In my case, I would say that I have some people who dictate me in some ways. I guess I’m a type of person who lives to have my decisions approved by these people I was mentioning about. And it’s not a good idea.

Having ‘dictators’ in life have the good and bad side with it, just like everything that exists on this planet. In the good side, you want your life to be dictated by them because you think that they probably know what’s best for you. You are in comfort zone because you live to please everyone by just playing out and following what they want. It sure does not take a lot of energy and so uncomplicated. Also, at some point, you feel good because you know that there are people who are willing to tell you advice and keep you on track.

However, this can really get ugly when you let a person dictate most things in your life. I’ve experienced it firsthand, who doesn’t? It makes you want to just be depressed because you have to follow what the heck they want you to do because you’re afraid of what they are going to say. They are a step ahead of you in making your life’s biggest decisions or worse even the smallest decisions on some life matters. You tell yourself over and over again that they know what’s good for you and that you’re so lucky because there are people who cares too much for you.

It feels like being caged, not being the one to control your own life and you just want to get out. You want freedom, you want advice not control.  It’s just so exhausting.

You just long for the time to just take the drive seat of your life because it’s yours to live anyway. Think of how good it would be to decide, make mistakes and learn from it, tell people you are just doing fine handling your own life. You just have to know what you want and that what you want to is what makes you happy. And by being happy that’s probably how you’ll know that what you’re doing is the best for you. Then, these dictators can back the hell off.